These just crack me up :)

More Heresy Carols today :)

Rudolf the farm-raised reindeer
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Rudolf the farm-raised reindeer
was entirely made of meat
and if you ever saw him
you'd think him a tasty treat

All of the other reindeer
knew the poor twat was doomed
they didn't tell poor rudolf
didn't want to fill him with gloom

then one stormy christmas eve
santa came to say
"the elves are demanding venison stew,
you know what I'm here to do

And how the elves consumed him
ate him up with rolls and beer
rudolf the farm-raised reindeer
we'll shoot another one next year

Silent Night (holy shit!)
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Silent night, holy shit !
you believe that virgin-birth bit ?
What a bunch of retarded jerks,
don't you know how doing it works ?

What a lo-oad of ba-alls
wha-at a lo-oad of balls

Silent night, holy shit
pedophile priests and brainwashed gits
what a bunch of preposterous crap
god isn't real, it's all fairytale pap

What a lo-oad of ba-alls
wha-at a lo-oad of balls

It's the least wonderful time of the year

Well, we're coming close to twenty three point five degrees of obliquity on our planets axis, so the whackos are at it again with their super-baby fairy tales. What a load of crap; midwinter celebrations have nothing to do with jeezus at all. The Romans adopted the holiday and superimposed it on their own "saturnalia" party, then once they were good and brainwashed they started stealing iconography from the Scandinavians (Yule logs, Kremble trees, Odin as santa claws) the Celts (holly, wreaths) and the Aztecs (poinsettias). The ads start in october, and continue on with "boxing week" sales that last into january. Fucking fake snow everywhere when there's MORE THAN ENOUGH OF THE REAL SHIT, songs about abstract "cheer" and fucking chipmunk christmas carols, and of course, a big fat homeless-lookin guy breaking into your house to leave major brand-name electronics for all the spoiled little spawns. In this season of creepy religious bastardization and over-the-top consumerism, I wish I could hibernate like a bear.

but instead, I shall write blasphemous "Heresy Carols" like this one.

It's the least wonderful time of the year,
Everywhere retards are singing 'bout jeezus and fucking fake cheer.
It's the least wonderful time of the year.

It's the least wonderful time of the year,
Holiday greetings to absolute strangers are so insincere
It's the least wonderful time of the year.

It's the least wonderful time of the year,
Fuck all this bullshit, I'm off to get loaded on whiskey and beer.
It's the least wonderful time of the year.

"Outraged Christian" Transpo - part 2

HAHAHA! The religious stooges at the Ottawa transit company have been defeated ! Godless ads shall appear on OC Transpo buses after all ! A victory for the rational, I say. Canada's charter of rights would kick the arsehole out of their argument in any court that wasn't made up of bishops and cardinals and other assorted minions of ignorance. And already some fucktard "principal" of a christian "school" is saying he'll support his brainwashed "students" who refuse to take one of these transit of the damned buses. I put those quotation marks in because a christian "school" is no real school. Religious education = might as well have been raised by wolves. Or just beaten in the head regularly during your formative years. Either way, similar result.

So that Vince Li whacko says "god" told him to behead, mutilate, and cannibalise that poor guy on the Greyhound bus. Back to my previous point about how I'm supposed to just go along and respect the bizarre beliefs of various religious stooges... How is this guy hearing the voice of god any less plausible than anyone else's delusions ? Is the court now supposed to say "Oh, god said to? Well, mister cannibal nut-bar, you're free to believe in all kinds of fairy-tales, so we're going to let you go on the grounds of religious freedom." Because that's what would happen were everyone to really respect and take seriously the "beliefs" of people who hear the voice of god in their head. There's not much of a gap between a voice in someone's head going "Vince !! Vince !! you've got to kill him now ! Eat his eyes and dismember him so he doesn't re-animate !" and a voice in someone's head going "Kill your son for me, Abraham ! Oh ! Gotcha ! Just kidding ! Haha!"

On a bus/god tangent, OC Transpo, the municipal bus service in Ottawa recently decided not to allow athiest ads that said "There's probably no god, now relax, stop worrying and enjoy your life" Apparently the city council are all jesus cultists or something. The ads should probably have read "There's probably no god, now relax and don't behead, mutilate, or cannibalise anyone. Just take the pills, Ok ?"

This is a tooth. A shark tooth. From a giant prehistoric shark called a "Carcharocles Megalodon". It is real. I'm holding it in my hand in this picture. It was not made by demons to trick me. It was part of a monstrous sea creature that lived SEVENTEEN MILLION YEARS AGO!!! Incontrovertible fossil evidence that the earth is VERY VERY OLD.

Plus, would a "just and loving god" make a fucking seventy-five foot shark ?

So this is just me ranting. Tirades about religion. First post, so lets start with my biggest problem. How seriously people take their deranged beliefs. Sure, everyone is entitled to believe whatever they like, but if "whatever you like" includes "There's a great big angry man in the sky and he's going to get you unless you do what I say !" or "Space Grandpa wants me to kill you, infidel!" then perhaps you should just fuckingwell keep your mouth shut. Or expect people to say "uh, that sounds like crazy bullshit" when you tell them "what you believe". If someone told you they thought the world was neither flat nor round, but was in fact a hemisphere on the back of an enormous tortoise, and that only ceaseless songs of praise to the tortoise and his testicles, and mass baby sacrifice for the tortoise would keep the tortoise from tossing us into the cosmic bog, you'd think they were delusional, and probably mock them. Or run from them if there's fifty of them with pointy inquisitor hoods on and torches.... So that's how I feel when someone tells me they think the earth is 5000 years old and we were all made from clay, and animals can talk, and people with wings live in cities in the clouds and a super-baby made of crackers and wine is going to come back to earth someday and get me for not believing in his psychopathic arsehole dad.

Fucking seriously now.