These just crack me up :)

More Heresy Carols today :)

Rudolf the farm-raised reindeer
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Rudolf the farm-raised reindeer
was entirely made of meat
and if you ever saw him
you'd think him a tasty treat

All of the other reindeer
knew the poor twat was doomed
they didn't tell poor rudolf
didn't want to fill him with gloom

then one stormy christmas eve
santa came to say
"the elves are demanding venison stew,
you know what I'm here to do

And how the elves consumed him
ate him up with rolls and beer
rudolf the farm-raised reindeer
we'll shoot another one next year

Silent Night (holy shit!)
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Silent night, holy shit !
you believe that virgin-birth bit ?
What a bunch of retarded jerks,
don't you know how doing it works ?

What a lo-oad of ba-alls
wha-at a lo-oad of balls

Silent night, holy shit
pedophile priests and brainwashed gits
what a bunch of preposterous crap
god isn't real, it's all fairytale pap

What a lo-oad of ba-alls
wha-at a lo-oad of balls

It's the least wonderful time of the year

Well, we're coming close to twenty three point five degrees of obliquity on our planets axis, so the whackos are at it again with their super-baby fairy tales. What a load of crap; midwinter celebrations have nothing to do with jeezus at all. The Romans adopted the holiday and superimposed it on their own "saturnalia" party, then once they were good and brainwashed they started stealing iconography from the Scandinavians (Yule logs, Kremble trees, Odin as santa claws) the Celts (holly, wreaths) and the Aztecs (poinsettias). The ads start in october, and continue on with "boxing week" sales that last into january. Fucking fake snow everywhere when there's MORE THAN ENOUGH OF THE REAL SHIT, songs about abstract "cheer" and fucking chipmunk christmas carols, and of course, a big fat homeless-lookin guy breaking into your house to leave major brand-name electronics for all the spoiled little spawns. In this season of creepy religious bastardization and over-the-top consumerism, I wish I could hibernate like a bear.

but instead, I shall write blasphemous "Heresy Carols" like this one.

It's the least wonderful time of the year,
Everywhere retards are singing 'bout jeezus and fucking fake cheer.
It's the least wonderful time of the year.

It's the least wonderful time of the year,
Holiday greetings to absolute strangers are so insincere
It's the least wonderful time of the year.

It's the least wonderful time of the year,
Fuck all this bullshit, I'm off to get loaded on whiskey and beer.
It's the least wonderful time of the year.